Thu Aug 10 17:09:20 CDT 2006

Brits, Nigerians and Limp Willies

hey freiNd!

I haVe a prlbem. I work Nigerian banK and haVe unclaimed funds. I would like transfer funds out of bank to kin of next dead. I am of using hotmail so bank can't be trackinf of. Please to be giving me personal information and be my depositing $10,000 to your...

Cheerio, then!

Allow me to brush this grammatic'lly challenged imposter aside with my left hand, shake your hand with the right and say CONGRATULATIONS! I bring you greetings from London and am pleased to announce you've won the British Lotto! What's that guv'na? You say you never entered? Bluh-ey 'ell!!!! Well maybe you'd fancy a shag, then.....

hey bro!

Before you shag, try some ViAGRAKDS. Or maybe some CgIjAuLzIwS. No prescription needed! Enlarge your...


Insider secrets! Enlarge your portfolio. We GUARANTEE that the stock below will perform and no one knows about this!!!!! Yes, we've sent you this same email five times today--but only you:

  • PZOSHT: Peezo Sht now 1.16
  • PZOSHT: Peezo Sht projected 3.52
* - We guarantee nothing beyond you parting with some cash

then moaned

and I said to her "You can't leave Joe Jack in that condition!". She walked over to the pond and splashed around the curry cobra butt and hoped that this fake story would look like real email. Jim says: "Why, Mars Tom, I hain't got no coat o' arm; I hain't got nuffn but dish yer ole shirt, en you knows I got to keep de journal on dat."

If you love me, you'll send this back to me! Besides, some one I know heard from some one else that some one actually tried this and it worked! Send a link of this blog to 1.56 x 10^7 people! Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are monitoring email and they will send you a dollar for every link you send!!! I didn't believe it but it works!

Paypal Here!

We, um, forgot your username and stuff... please visit and give us your credent.. your creditnt.. your info :D


Are there really people still being duped by the Nigerian Bank and British Lotto scams? Are there really enough people that can't get Harry and the Twins goin that need to save a few pennies skirting prescriptions and a co-pay? If you don't have insurance, you probably don't need to be risking your health on international bogus pecker pills. Do enough people still believe their bank/paypal/IRS would ask for credentials in some email? I know for a fact that the sappy emails and lame ass jokes that people forward are still being forwarded. I write this message growing weary of the daily onslaught of SPAM. To be sure, I am a geek and have technology helping route a large percentage of that crap to the virtual crapper, but like periplaneta americana, SPAM finds a way.

In the beginning, there is darkness.... Some sort of restraining substance restricts your movement. There are others here... Many, many others. You break free! You turn to see it was an egg restraining you. You stretch out your antennae and prepare your six legs for the run. Antennae and six legs? That's right--you are periplaneta americana!!!!! And not just any one--you are bourne of SPAM. Your goal is to seek out and infest. Find a mailbox to call your own. Maybe Maybe Scurry, young roach, scurry! There are millions of you blathering on and on in bad, non-sensical, grammatically-poor English. You have to help your creator bilk old people. You have to sell junk to the unsuspecting. YOU ARE SPAM-ROACH AND YOU WILL BE DEEEEELIVERED!!!!!! Like others before you, you will find opposition. You will be searched for content. You will be scanned for virii. You will quite probably get tagged, filtered, dismissed, deleted, avoided, ignored or laughed at. But.. you may get read and clicked on. And that's when the magic happens. So run, spam roach, run to the millions of mailboxen that don't want you. You may be the one to steal someone's identity.

Now all I need is a big can of RAID for my mailbox.... You should try it-I heard from a friend and Bill Gates that it really works--and they really loved me.


Posted by james | Permanent link | File under: Rants